If you follow me on Instagram @thelisasworld or @fertilitychats, you will know that on the 10th of April 2020 at 2:49am I gave birth to our little boy Matias. The whole labour and birth experience was incredible, very positive and empowering – and might be subject on a different blog post – but today I am just checking in and telling you all about the last two weeks postpartum. The real deal – just as it shows in the photo above. A very tired mum whilst breastfeeding. I guess that sums it all up!
Today, Friday the 24th of April, Matias is 2 weeks old.. let me start by saying that I have no idea where time has gone! I don’t know what day of the week or month it is and I can’t really believe he’s already two weeks old!! Time does fly by and he is changing every single day. But how have the last two weeks been? In one word, maybe overwhelming. But also rewarding, exhausting and full of love.
The first day at home
Matias was born overnight at 2:49am and by 5pm the same day we were at home. It felt great to bring him home but it was also very scary. As first time parents you second guess everything so from the minute you even start getting ready at the hospital to come home, you question everything. We came home in this newborn bubble of love and it felt great. Yet, I also had a little cry and felt defeated because I was struggling to breastfeed and had to give him formula milk – this wasn’t something I wanted to happen so I really felt frustrated and like I wasn’t giving my best as a mum. This is so wrong and doesn’t do us (new mums) any good. We just need to focus on the important: baby is being fed and is happy and settled. That is all that matters.
But in general, it was a pretty good day and we were just full of joy! We were tired and couldn’t wait to get in bed but we were also aware that we would probably never catch up all the hours sleep we lost.
The baby blues
The next few days after day 1 were like a rollercoaster. Day 2 to 4 were perfect, everything was going smoothly and baby Matias was settling perfectly fine. He is a good baby so we can’t complain. I had a shower and actually washed my hair on day 2 postpartum – win win! – and I managed to start breastfeeding using nipple shields. I felt like I was winning at this motherhood and parenting game. I started feeling more like myself, my bump was slowly disappearing (I am very lucky as I am very close to my normal self before baby. Perks of having a small bump) and the healing process was going great. You really start thinking “maybe this isn’t that difficult!”. But comes day 5 and it is like a big wave of exhaustion hits you. I guess this is where the baby blues thing comes from. I felt drained, tired, lifeless. I was happy, of course, but was too tired to realise. So I cried out of nowhere. I cried whilst having dinner because I honestly had no energy at all, I cried in bed and said “I am so tired”. I cried when baby was crying and I couldn’t figure out why. I cried more than I thought I would.. but it is all part of it. You may think there for a second: I can’t do this , this is too much.. I just can’t. But you can and you will. Because you look at that baby and you find your strength and your motivation. The love and joy you feel when you look at your little one really erases everything else.
The days after
A couple of days after this I started feeling a lot better, I found my own new routine and I realised that there are things that are important for me to continue doing so that I feel good about myself and have the energy and perfect mindset to look after our baby. So every day I make sure I do my morning skincare, change into some clothes and have a nice 10 minute shower at the end of the day followed by applying all the moisturisers, oils, perfume and doing my night time skincare routine so I can then focus in feeding our baby and getting him ready for bedtime. I still feel tired, but it is the normal now..broken sleep does that to you!
We figured out that we now live according to his “routine” and not ours. He is the boss and we just have to do all our normal stuff around his own timings and once we started doing that, things got a bit better. I accept if I can’t keep my house as tidy as I like if what I really need is a quick one our nap. Breastfeeding is hard work! Sometimes I feel like I am attached to Matias 24/7 as all he wants is boob but it is also such a beautiful moment to bond with him.. looking at his little face when he’s breastfeeding makes everything worthwhile.
My husband has been my rock the past two weeks and I feel so blessed to have him by my side. I honestly couldn’t do this without him. Husbands can really help you a lot during the first few weeks and you need that help! I started pumping for one feed at night that my husband is responsible for and that gives me a little bit of a rest at night. He makes me breakfast every morning, he hoovers when it’s needed and he’s been really good at keeping things in place – he knows how much I love a tidy home and he’s keeping up with it. He’s so good with Matias and it is because of him that these past two weeks have been so smooth and peaceful. He gives me the strength when I don’t have any, makes me smile if what I want to do is cry for a bit and loves our son in the most beautiful way I could ever imagine. We are both so lucky to have him in our life!
We just can’t wait for all the time we have to spend with our little boy and just to watch him grow. These two weeks have been the most intense weeks of our life but also we have felt incredibly happy and lucky to have this healthy little beautiful baby by our side.