I haven’t had the best experiences as a kid. Don’t get me wrong – I was a happy little girl/teenager but it wasn’t all flowers and butterflies. My younger self had quite a bit to go through and I guess that I probably overcame a few things so easily thanks to my beautiful and supportive family. Even though most of the times they had no idea of what was going on at school, they always had a good, positive thought to share with me everyday.
I was made fun of since primary school. I guess you can call it bullying. First, I was too skinny, then it was because I had glasses, after that all the girls started having boobs and looking more like an adolescent and less like a kid and I was still there with nothing to show so I was called all the names because of that. It never seemed to stop an it lasted all the way until high school. I also had girls sor of threatening me and a boy that slapped me because I didn’t like him. I guess that was the limit for me and I remember thinking I had to tell my mum and dad. I did it and the next day my dad went to pick me up from school as usual but, this time, he got out of the car, asked me if the boy was there of which I said yes and pointed in his direction. My dad puts his RayBan Aviator Sunglasses and goes to talk to him. He pretended he was a police man, said the boy could get in trouble if he did that to be again. Since then I guess the word spread out and people started doing it less and less. Thanks Dad.
When I look back, I think of all the things that happened and all the things I could have said or done and even how different I could have seen life around me. I wasn’t the bravest or the most confident so my way of dealing with things was to shut my mouth look the other way and try to go unnoticed. If it was today, I wouldn’t do it that way and that’s where this post came from. If I could go back to 1997 and talk to my 6 year old self who was about to start primary school or even to 2008 to see my 17 year old self, heres’s some things I wish I could tell myself:
ALWAYS STICK UP FOR YOURSELF. No matter what, never let someone make you feel like you aren’t worth it. I feel like this applies to any time of your life and it’s something I will always remember. It is always easier to let go, to not fight back and try and ignore it but it does not mean it is the best thing to do. Sticking up for yourself, sometimes, is the best option and it took me a long while to realize it.
Have you thought about all the times you regretted not saying something? Now, how many times did you regret saying it? If you are like me, they were many less. And that is why now I always say what I need to say, reasonably, and never let anyone step on me.
WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU DOESN’T MATTER. It is so hard to be yourself if you are constantly worried about what people are saying or thinking about you. Be who you want to be, dress as you like, do what you wish but never let anything or anyone stop you being you. I have been there and I kind of didn’t know. Now I realize the years I have lost hiding 50% of my personality and ideias. Not only because I was always worried about being judged but also because when you get together with a group of friends, you adjust your personality to match theirs but that’s not how it’s meant to be. Friends who are real friends accept you as you are, never ask you to change and do not judge you by your weirdness.
And you know what? It is such a great thing to just be who you are and express yourself through your outfits, makeup and whatever you want!
IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I don’t know how many heartbreaks I might have gone through for many different reasons: friends that weren’t really friends, a crush that didn’t even noticed me or not being able to succeed. It didn’t feel great.
I remember my first heartbreak when I was about 14 years old. I cried so much that I didn’t know how I would survive that moment, but I did. Heartbreaks and happy moments, that is what life is all about. Life will always be like a rollercoaster so live the moment, cry when you have to but always remember: it is not the end of the world.
ENJOY, THIS IS THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. This is for my 17 year old self. Around that time, I was getting in Uni and little did I know what I had waiting for me. I did enjoy that time but there is a lot more I could have done. For me, Uni times where the best times for me until now. Well, I am loving my 20’s too and my adult life but it is just different. There is something about those Uni years – the freedom of spirit, the courage to do many crazy things, the nights out, the amazing quality time with friends and meeting your soulmate. That last one wins for me. I know many people that have met their other half in Uni, as me, and that is one of the reasons why those will be the best years of your life. So open yourself to meet new people never expecting too much. It will happen when it has to happen so, in the mean time, just enjoy your time!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, ALWAYS. You will always have people saying that you are crazy, that that doesn’t make sense, that you won’t be able to do it or that it is impossible. Do not believe them – believe in yourself and try. You will never know unless you try. I wish I had tried harder with many things.
LISTEN TO YOUR MUM & DAD. How many times did I think that my mum and dad were wrong? How many times did I wish that they said yes to something I wanted but all they did was say no? Many. But now, a few years later, I thank them for guiding me in the right direction and feel sorry for not listening to them more and always thinking that they just wanted to be a pain. But I guess that’s what teenage girls do. One day, I was 15 and wanted a tattoo from a guy that wasn’t a professional. Mum and dad said no many times but I insisted too many, cried, made some noise and they were so fed up and annoyed that they said yes and that I would live with the consequences. I know hate the tattoo, I have spent too much money on laser removal and am in the process of getting it covered up. So, listen to your mum and dad.
SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR BROTHER. Me and my brother had some quality time together. We still do. We are five years apart but I am proud to say that we are very close and have a great relationship. But when I was 15, all I wanted was to be with my friends and he wanted to be with me. He wanted to go with me to the cinema, to the beach, everywhere! And I would always say no because I just wanted to be with my friends and didn’t want him to be telling my mum all the things he would listen to. Although I kind of get me at the time, I am always a bit sad of not letting me go with me more often because now he is the one that is too busy with his girlfriend or too busy with his games and I just want some time together! How things change, right?
I could carry on but I guess this is staying way too long so I’ll end here. Life is complicated, never easy but if it was, it wouldn’t be half the fun that it actually is. Although I did go through some hard stuff and although half of my teenage years I felt not so pretty, not so confident and never motivated, I do have some good memories because I actually never bothered too much. Yes, it hurts when people call you names, make fun of you or slap you because you don’t want to be their girlfriend but the mindset you need to have is: I am better than this. That’s the way to go!
Hope you enjoyed this post. Even though it is quite personal, these types of posts end up being my favourite ones to write.