I grew with so many insecurities and fears that, sometimes, it is hard to believe what I have become – a grown, independent and confident woman.
As much as you have people that love you and enhance your beautiful features or qualities, the ones that judge, criticize or make fun of you are the ones that keep playing up at the back of your mind day and night. I know because I have been through that and… yes, I would replay everything they would say to me.
Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and think: What have I done to overcome those hard times? And I guess that is what I want to talk about today.
Being pointed out every single day your flaws or different features is so, so sad and upsetting. I would spend my days listening to my colleagues saying how I had an eye smaller than another, how I was skinny like a spaghetti and even that I was ugly like a troll. And although that really affected my self-confidence and self-love back then, I was still a happy kid/teenager (yes, it lasted quite a long time). Yet, feeling bellow or less than everyone else was a constant emotion.
Having a good backup was an essential thing to overcome all the bullying and abuse. Family and friends are such a good support during those times. Never, ever feel scared to tell them what is going on.
The other thing is not to be scared of whoever is bullying you. They might be older and bigger, but you can handle them very well. They might look powerful and even in control of everything but they aren’t. One thing that I noticed over time was that people like these – that judge, criticize and bully everyone – are people that are as insecure as you are (or even more) . They have problems and their way to be in life is to upset others and although it is wrong, you can’t control their behavior but you can control yours!
So, don’t be scared and confront them. When I got the courage to answer back and show them that I was not as frail as I looked, things got better. And for so long I thought it would be the opposite! Oh, I was wrong.
They will be on top of you if you show how scared you feel because that is fun for them. If you speak up, show your strengths and your confidence (even if you feel like you don’t have it), they will eventually stop.
Will it be easy? Not at all.. It wasn’t for me. But they stopped.
After all of this, one thing that I had to do was to learn how to love myself the way I was – with flaws, far from perfect. Again, when people keep pointing out all your “abnormalities” , it gets really hard to ignore them. To be honest, if someone now mentions how I have an eye smaller than the other, I still get really annoyed because it reminds me of those times. Let me tell you that it isn’t even very noticeable but , sometimes, people can tell and they will mention it.
I had to look at myself in the mirror and sink in that that was me and I was/am beautiful. Then, I slowly tried to stop bothering about what others would say. If I want to put on that polka dot dress or that bold lipstick because I love it, I will. Oh, but they will make fun of it! Who cares?!
If you feel comfortable and good about yourself, that is all that matters.
I feel like this post is a bit all over the place but I wanted to put it out there because I think it is important.
At some point of your life, you might be bullied and it is important for you to know that you don’t have to put up with it. You are not alone and you shouldn’t feel scared! Speak up, find some support on your family and friends but most of all, love yourself. Because if you don’t, no one will.
The more self-confidence and self-love you have/show, the happier, better and brighter your life will be. It is just a matter of changing your behavior towards those judgmental, bully people and raise your head! You are better than them, definitely.
Never feel less than anyone else. Know your qualities, your strengths and hang to that as strong as you can. Knowing that you are worth it is the first and sometimes only step to raise in self-confidence and self-love.