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Monday, November 16, 2015

Bullying & Self Confidence



I know that I am one in a million of people that have suffered from bullying at some stage of their lives and that did make me think if I should or shouldn't write this blog post. There are a lot of similar posts discussing this subject and mine will be another one to add. 
I read Victoria's (InTheFrow) recent blog post about self confidence and when I finished reading I just felt so inspired by her and I related to everything she described that I just wanted to write about it too. So, here am I.

Since I started in school I was bullied - lets say it started at primary school and it went more or less until secondary school. First because I was too skinny, then they noticed that I had one eye smaller than the other and started calling me names like Luís de Camões (a portuguese poet that lost is sight to his right eye), and after that things just started building up and I couldn't run away from it anymore. My colleagues were more or less the same ones for about eight of the twelve years of school that I had and all of that time I was bullied.
Yes, it is a long time a talking about that now makes me think how did this happen but also, how come did I not loose all the confidence, love and self respect about me as a person, a growing woman? Until today I do not know how did that not happen. I guess I was strong enough to still believe in myself, my dreams, my qualities and I need to thank not only myself for that but also my mom and dad.

From this experience of my life I can tell that your personality and how you decide to deal with these situations will strongly affect how or who are you going to be in a near future. Even though I had boys that would try to bring me down by insulting me, calling me names and in one extreme situation slap me, I would refuse to look down. I showed no fear although I was scared as s*it every time they called my name.
I did not keep everything to myself. I told my mom and dad that a boy slapped me once. My dad talked to him pretending to be a police and he never bothered me again.
So what I want to say with all of this is you might be scared of them but your parents, teachers don't. They are the only ones that can help you. So tell them! It is their responsibility to protect you and do something about this.

My next "advise" is really to be strong and believe in yourself. Focus on the good things, good people, the ones that truly care about you. I did that. I was lucky to have close friends that wouldn't take notice on what these stupid bullies were saying. They gave me strength to continue believing in myself and they showed that I am worth it. 
And like Victoria said, they only bully you because they care. Except that it is not for the right reasons.

Bullying is something that has been happening for years but people are now paying more attention to it and acting as they should. So you are not alone.
Bullying can and will affect your life. It can either make you stronger or weaker - it depends on how you deal with it. It has been ten years now and almost every time I talk about it to my boyfriend, it makes me cry. Or want to cry.
Because like I said previously, I don't know how come did I not end up being one of them girls with no self confidence, self esteem and self love. How come did I not end up depressed or self harming? I know that that is what bullying does to a lot of people that go through it. So I do know that I am a lucky one.

But you can be one too. Be strong. This will end, one day. It will stop. The more you ignore, the better it is. Don't let it affect you or, like I did, try to pretend it doesn't affect you. It is the best option.
The more you cry in front of them, the more you say "stop it", the more they will do it.
Think that they are the ones to be sorry about. They don't have anything else to do with their lives apart from making other people feel bad about themselves. They are sad, mean people that don't deserve your tears.

So, again, be strong. Look for support in other people. People that care about you. Your parents, your true friends, all your family. Don't keep anything for yourself, that is the worst thing to do. And, cliche or not, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I know for a fact that this is true.
I am now a different person. I am better, stronger, beautiful inside out. This is how I feel about myself now. So I guess I win. When I see how people who bullied me during my teenage years are now in their lives I think "Do they remember me as much as I remember them? I hope so."
  

"Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already bellow you."
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5 comments :

  1. Lovely post - and important too. Even if it isn't easy to speak about a topic it's important. I think that bullying in a schoolyard will always happen, but with the internet people can blanket themselves in anonymity and it can bring out some truly awful aspects of humanity. You've given some great advice here!


    Dar | www.holylipstick.com

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  2. People can be so cruel. I don't understand what the need is for unnecessary and hurtful comments. Keep that sh*t toi yourself. It definitely says a lot more about the bully than the person on the other end of receiving those comments. Great advice :) X


    THEFASHION-JUNKIE

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  3. completely agree with all that you said!! xx
    Thank you for leaving your comment! :) xx

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  4. This is just. Too good. Too real. Thank you for this post. You give amazing advice. Bullying has always been a touchy subject to me especially because I was bullied at one point. But I've learned a lot since then.
    Kissingtheshorelines.com

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  5. Thank you so much x It is good to know that this post is being appreciated. It was the most difficult one for me to write xx

    Lisa

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